May 08, 2016

Cheesecake: Hi, me!

Today we combine two search terms, "phone mirror" and we get a lot of girls taking their own pictures in the mirror! Selfies FTW!

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 05:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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May 07, 2016

Cheesecake: Kevlar and Cyanoacrylate

Today's search term is "Impossible shirt" and it touches a sore spot I've been brooding about for years. JGreely has a link on his side bar to a blog called "Boobs don't work that way" and this, in turn, is "cloth doesn't work that way."

There are two major issues here. We can call the first one the "Sternum problem". It's about the way that shirts on girls are drawn so that the cloth follows the skin all the way into the middle of the cleavage:

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That's not cloth; that's paint. (Or heat-shrink plastic, ouch!) No way anything woven would do that. Even worse is when they do this with plate mail, such as Cecily Cambell in "The Sacred Blacksmith":

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The purpose of a chestplate like that is to distribute the force of a blow. But with that shape, if she gets hit all the force is going to be transferred to her sternum, and it will probably be crushed -- leading to all kinds of physical problems such as bleeding in her lungs.

Fairy Tail gets this right. Erza Scarlet wears a chestplate a lot of the time, but hers is not only plausible for manufacture, it's also plausible defense:

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It doesn't try to form fit her breasts; it tries to spread the force of blows. Exactly right.

The other problem with a lot of this art we can call the "Hourglass problem", dealing with extreme ranges in the "three numbers".

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How can there be such a difference in diameter between the level of the breasts and the level of the waist? If it is like most T-shirts it's going to be a constant cylinder and if it's wide enough to hold that chest, it's going to hang like a sack at the waist.

Fairy Tail usually gets this one right, too. Nearly all the women in Fairy Tail have huge boobs and narrow waists, but they usually wear halter-tops or, as in this case, clothing which is obviously custom tailored. There are plausible seams in this to expand the top part without being loose around the waist.

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So these two girls have both problems:

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This is a particularly egregious example. The cloth not only follows the cleavage exactly, it goes under the boobs as well. There's no way that's cloth; it's another paint job.

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 01:06 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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May 05, 2016

Cheesecake: I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry!

Today's search term is "yandere", because everyone needs a bit of excitement in their life.

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"You sent for me, sensei?"

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"You sent for me, admiral?"

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 03:34 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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May 02, 2016

Cheesecake: Victory!

Today's keyword is the shortest possible: "v". I remember reading a blog entry a few years ago by a young guy who wondered, "Why are all those girls making the peace sign?" and I sighed and shook my head.

The Japanese learned that from American GI's after the war, and to the Americans it meant "V for Victory!" In the 1960's the hippies decided that it should mean "peace" as a protest against the Viet Nam war, and apparently this guy (who was probably born after 1980) learned it that way.

But to Japanese school girls, it doesn't mean either of those things. For them it means "I'm hamming it up for a camera" and that's pretty much all.

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 06:20 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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May 01, 2016

Cheesecake -- All rise!

Today's search term is "American flag bikini". Turns out that this mostly resulted in characters from Kancolle, Girls Und Panzer and, oddly enough, Touhou. There's a character in Touhou who is dressed like a jester except her costume is stars and stripes, so inevitably fan artists portrayed her in a stars-and-stripes bikini, not to mention other Touhou characters.

So, on with the show.

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I gather that this is BB-61 Iowa from Kancolle. Not too much of a surprise that an American capital ship would be portrayed as a big-breasted blonde.

(UPDATE: No, it's Kay from Girls und Panzer. That's a Sherman tank behind her, not the gun turret of a battleship. My mistake.)

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And apparently this is USS Archerfish and USS Albacore, American fleet submarines during the war. (I don't know which is which.)

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 02:04 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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April 29, 2016

Cheesecake: the power of Nature

Today's search term is "wind lift", the result of a fortuitous action of the elements on a cute girl wearing a skirt.

You know, as common as this is in anime, I've never seen it in real life, and I don't know anyone who claims to have seen it. There used to be a fun-house at the Oregon State Fairground but it burned down in the 1960's. But it had a place inside it where there were air-jets in the floor being run by an employee, and if a girl in a loose dress or skirt walked over it he'd blast air and lift it. Me, I was too young then (grade school) to really appreciate it. Discounting that, I've never seen this. I guess it's one of those things like accidental-compromising-position which are common in anime because of wish fulfilment even though they never happen IRL.

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 11:13 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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April 26, 2016

Cheesecake: High Fashion

Today's search term is "straw hat". (It doesn't get any more fashionable than that!)

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 05:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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April 21, 2016

Cheesecake -- Oops!!

Today's search term is "wardrobe malfunction". (Plus an ever-lengthening list of exclusions to help retain what's left of my sanity.)

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 07:12 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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April 14, 2016

Brainy AND Beautiful!

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So it turns out there's a "red-framed glasses" tag and there's an "under-rim glasses" tag, and when you use them both you get...

RED HALF-RIM GLASSES!

And the crowd goes wild with anticipation. We had to bring in some armed guards to keep control.

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Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 05:42 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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April 12, 2016

Idolmaster uncovered!

Pete complained that there wasn't any pr0n of Idolmaster. Well, he didn't actually complain, but I'm taking his comment as license to post some. It's all his fault! Don't blame me!

Anyway, that's as may be. I am not sure everything I'm including here is actually Idolmaster. I have a directory named "idols" where I stash images about... idols, but it isn't just Idolmaster. It's also Wake Up, Girls, Love Live, Kancolle, Hatsune Miku, K-On, Sailor Moon, and some stuff that looked to me like idols but which probably wasn't. So I went through that to find these images, and it won't surprise me if I've included something that isn't Idolmaster. It also won't surprise me if I included a picture I've posted here before. If so I apologize for the redundancy.

Anyway, they're all NSFW (because FFN) so I'm not putting them inline. If you want to see them, click the links. Also, they're bigger than usual, and a few of them are immense simply because they would be impossible to see if they were reduced much more. (One of them has 50 girls on it.) Um, not hardcore, though, and no icky boys.

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And now I am going to post one SFW picture inline because I have a question about her. I gather that her name is "Shibuya Rin" and what's interesting about her is that all the other idols are usually shown wearing bikinis or fancy costumes or nothing at all in fanart, but Rin usually is shown in her school uniform. Is that a character trait from whatever show she's in? Or is she older than the others?

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She also gets cheesecake shots, of course, but not nearly as many as the other girls. So what's the deal with her?

Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Cheesecake at 08:19 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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