1 The moment I saw the post title, I thought "Professor Schpinkee?"

Yep.

Who doesn't love exploding pigs?

2 Crap like this is the equivalent of the old 'scared straight' morality tales.  Except with less justification. . . .

3 Sweet, I should have died by the time I was 13.  Awesome, I'm 28 and now I can say I've murdered twice as much of the planet compared to the cavemen of old.  Progress!

4 Remember kids, if you don't hate yourself and regret your entire existence, then you are worse then Hitler!

5 What's interesting is that you can choose the worst possibilities on each screen and turn yourself into a bloated, Michael-Moorish monstrosity, but if you set the "ethical investments" slider on screen 11 to 45%, you can live forever as a cute little piglet. In other words, dump a little money to the greenies choice of charity and company and all is right with the world. Anything can be forgiven if you're willing to shell out a little cash.

6 Oh, and I died at age 4.