1 "I before E when after C, right?"

2 aI had a childhood friend who told me once a funny story about that. I think that was when we were in university already, but perhaps in high school. IIRC it was during a summer vacation. He went to had an eyesight surgery, which used to be popular in Russia. My wife had one, for example. It generally is an equivalent of what we know as "lasik" today.

Back then though, there was no laser. A surgeon made a series of shallow cuts or scratches on the cornea. Although transparent, it is a living tissue, which forms scars and heals if cut. The cuts were planned so that the resulting scars deformed cornea just right to correct the vision.

As it happened, my friend was operated by an intern from Africa. The patient is slightly sedated and strapped into a chair with a guard frame inserted under eyelids. So, my friend heard a Russian surgeon guiding the African, and at some point exclaiming, "Don't press, don't press (so hard)!" Then, all the lights in the operating room went unfocused. The intern cut through the cornea into a small chamber that's filled up with a liquid, which flowed out.

My friend spent a month laying on his back to avoid the rest of the eye flowing out, but eventually his eye healed itself. His vision remained substandard on the damaged eye.

3

Even if it were possible to correct my vision that way (it isn't, but even if it were) I wouldn't do it

I've worn glasses since I was 7, and I'm used to them. They're a good solution and I don't need anything better. As an engineer I firmly believe that simplicity is a virtue; fanciness is usually a blight. I see no need to use a complicated solution when a simple one will serve.

4 The patient is slightly sedated...

So you get to WATCH the knife blade coming at your eyeball?  No thank you very much, I'll keep on with my glasses.

5 "So you get to WATCH the knife blade coming at your eyeball?"
That was the way they did my cataract surgery: Local anesthesia, and remarkably effective tranquilizers. Not sure why, but they like to have you conscious for eye surgery.

Best part was, I was incredibly nearsighted before the surgery. So I could see the scalpel clearly the whole way in. And didn't care a bit, really good tranquilizers.

6 I could see the scalpel clearly the whole way in. And didn't care a bit, really good tranquilizers.

I used to go into shock from a teeth cleaning.  I used to have to take a valium before I went to a dentist.  I still need a heavy dose of nitrous oxide for anything more than a checkup or x-ray.

Opticians (is that the right one?) also have problems when I get vision checks... particularly with the device that puffs a bit of air into your eyeball.  It gets too close and I twitch away, every time.  It took a massive amount of willpower on my part the last time to not flinch.

I'm a wimp.

7

Not sure why, but they like to have you conscious for eye surgery.

They're relying on you to hold your eye still. If you're unconscious, your eyes twitch all over the place.

8

I used to go into shock from a teeth cleaning.  I used to have to take a valium before I went to a dentist.  I still need a heavy dose of nitrous oxide for anything more than a checkup or x-ray.

I have been fortunate enough not to require major surgery in my life, which is good because I am the exact opposite - I only allow local anesthesia.  No general anesthesia, no tranquillizers - I prefer to be awake and aware through as much of the procedures as possible.  That includes the time the dentist doing part of my wisdom teeth removal apparently complicated his efforts while dealing with an impacted tooth.

9 That includes the time the dentist doing part of my wisdom teeth removal apparently complicated his efforts while dealing with an impacted tooth.

See, that right sentence right there forced an involuntary mewling sound from my throat.  If I wasn't so dry-mouthed from work (the ambient humidity in there is in the negatives), I probably would have drooled a bit as well.