April 15, 2011

Miracle Whip

The only miracle about Miracle Whip is that anyone buys the stuff. Every couple of years the price of vegetable oil goes up, and Kraft reformulates Miracle Whip to reduce the amount of oil they put in it, so as to keep the price down.

Now they sell a version which doesn't have any oil at all.

Miracle Whip is to mayonnaise what Velveeta is to cheese. Velveeta isn't cheese, and Kraft isn't permitted to call it cheese. It's "pasteurized process cheese food".

And they're not permitted to call Miracle Whip "mayonnaise", because it doesn't satisfy the legal definition of mayonnaise per the FDA. Miracle Whip is "sandwich spread".

If you want mayonnaise, you get Hellman's. (Known as "Best Foods" in the western part of the US.) Or you make your own.

...and that's today's rant.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Rants at 08:23 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.

1 At least Velveeta has *some* virtues.  Namely, uniformity in melting.  For some foods, like macaroni and cheese, its the best solution to the problem.

Granted, *outside* those specific cases, its a travesty.  Cheese fries are not cheese fries when they use cheese sauce.

Posted by: metaphysician at April 15, 2011 08:36 PM (hD30M)

2 I totally concur on the Hellman's ( and homemade) for the vast majority of uses.

However for the single specific application that came up,  I stand by my choice of materials.

Posted by: The Brickmuppet at April 15, 2011 09:40 PM (EJaOX)

3 One of my greatest regrets about my DVR going bad was the loss of about 40 episodes of Good Eats.

Posted by: Mauser at April 16, 2011 12:25 AM (cZPoz)

4 I use one of these at home to do a lot of small jobs like making mayo, Kaloric Sunny Morning Stick Blender.

I HATE the color stuff the designers added in to make it more "friendly", IMO that just distracts from doing the job right.

Posted by: vonKrag at April 16, 2011 08:15 AM (VGXAE)

5 @Mauser: Alton Brown has a huge following of people who use Bittorrent. Just sayin'. I have an entire shelf of his DVDs and books because I vote with my dollars, but I suspect Mr. Brown would support your desire to make Good Eats.

Posted by: bkw at April 16, 2011 08:41 AM (34O+x)

6 Believe it or not, Wal-Mart now sells a knock-off version of Miracle Whip that lists soybean oil as the first ingredient--I won't say that it takes entirely like pre-90s Miracle Whip, but it's a darn sight closer than anything that Kraft makes today.

meta:  don't forget queso.  I wouldn't even try to make it with real cheese; even if it didn't burn on the stove, it'd get grainy in the fridge.

Posted by: BigD at April 16, 2011 10:54 AM (LjWr8)

7 Heh, torrenting Good Eats, an interesting thought.  There's also a good number of the episodes up on YouTube.

I'd consider it except that with the severe disparity between my upload and download speeds, and my noble desire for a share ratio of 2.0... I'm still seeding at least a dozen items from last anime season.

(Still haven't had time to even watch it all).

Oddly, the recipe on Food Network talks about hand-whisking the Mayo, but IIRC, he actually made it in a food processor.

Posted by: Mauser at April 17, 2011 07:31 AM (cZPoz)

8 I think BigD was referencing this, but let me be clear: 1 can of Rotel diced tomatoes and chili peppers to one-half bar of of Velveeta.  Add a touch of cilantro to give it some bite.  Queso of the gods, man, queso of the gods!

Posted by: ubu at April 17, 2011 10:38 AM (GfCSm)

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