October 01, 2009

Mystery Meat -- Netrunmon, the Movie

Today's Mystery Meat show is "Netrunmon, the Movie". And it's entirely too silly to believe. More, including a couple of borderline NSFW frame grabs and a lot of spoilers, below the fold.


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It's late night in an office. A bunch of programmers are desperately working to finish something by morning, but it seems hopeless, and eventually they all fall asleep. Then two of the computer monitors glow, and a couple of cartoon ducks come out and decide to help.

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The conversation between them makes clear that they're an older brother and younger sister. The older brother, BB Runner, gets distracted by an ad which tries to con him out of money, and Ranna, his sister, boots him. Then another one shows up, only this one comes out of the screen. As she goes through a (nude) mahou shoujo transformation, she says: "I'm a computer sprite. I have no boyfriend. I don't burp. I don't go to the bathroom. I am more ideal for a girlfriend than real girls. I'm the idol of the new generation. I'm Chiyu, the 12 year old!"

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Ye Gods. She grabs BB Runner and the two of them vanish back into the screen. Ranna jumps in after them.

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Turns out that someone who calls himself "Goshujin-sama" has been using his minions, the junkies, to kidnap and imprison net meme characters.

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They need a hero to save them, and Chiyu's older sister, Biske-tan, found BB Runner and decided that he was the one.

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So we have an adventure and find and free Biske-tan from an attack by junkies. But in the commotion the junkies capture Ranna, and drive away with her in a cage in the back of a truck. On a highway in open desert, a strange single figure stands in the middle of the road, holding a katana. He swings his blade as the truck passes by/over/through him, and the truck falls in half.

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A group of junkies who were also in the back of the truck emerge and attack him. He whisk-isk-isk's his blade, and resheaths it.

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And all their clothes come off, and they flee in terror. Ranna is, needless to say, a bit smitten by the guy. Who are you?

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OK, Ken, whatever you say. Getting back to BB Runner and the girls, they're questing towards the Master's castle because that's where the action is going to be, and because they want to release Ranna and think she's being taken there.

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In the woods along the way. Apparently these guys haven't been captured by the Master because, well, who'd want them?

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Ooh! Ain't that ugly and foreboding?

Ken + Ranna meet up with the others and form one team. They go through some stuff, and get inside the castle, and are confronted by the guards. Ken says, "Go down those stairs. I'll hold here and I won't let any of them through.

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And he does. And then some other really weird shit happens, but I'm not going to describe any more of it. The final battle between BB Runner and the Master is a triumph of silliness.

Man, this was bad. The only reason I finished it was that it was only half an hour long.

FORENSICS: I'm sure I downloaded this one for bonus points.

Recommended? HELL NO.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Mystery Meat at 02:54 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 553 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Not recommended? But... But... Ducks!

Posted by: dkallen99 at October 01, 2009 02:59 PM (1PFDl)

2 They're kind of mutant ducks. Or maybe bionic. Both of them have jet engines on the back end.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at October 01, 2009 03:31 PM (+rSRq)

3 I think part of my brain just died with that description. Strangely, when I got to Samurai Damashii Ken pic, it immediately "sounded" to me like Samurai "Damage" Ken.

Posted by: Jaked at October 01, 2009 04:08 PM (hNS0e)

4

Even as stupid as it was, I can't help but apply the refrigerator mind to it. If Chiyu came out of a screen to bring BB Runner and Ranna into the anime world, then where in hell did BB Runner and Ranna come from in the first place? (And return to at the end of the show?)

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at October 01, 2009 04:25 PM (+rSRq)

5 Look, you know me and my "Ducks In Anime" feature, right?

Even I won't do anything with this, even knowing there's ducks around.

Posted by: Wonderduck at October 01, 2009 08:26 PM (/O6qY)

6 Slighty off the topic of ducks but on topic of bonus points -- are you having problems with bakabt? It's been inaccessible for the last two days for me.

Posted by: bkw at October 02, 2009 08:44 AM (34O+x)

7 It went down yesterday for several hours because of a snafu on paying the bill, and then came up again. As of this morning it's once again down.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at October 02, 2009 09:44 AM (+rSRq)

8 You emphatically do not recommend it, but your review somehow makes it sound kind of fun....

Posted by: Toren at October 02, 2009 05:19 PM (9K6fX)

9 Watch it if you want. But don't blame me...

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at October 02, 2009 05:29 PM (+rSRq)

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