1 It is, perhaps, appropriate that all four of them have to do with being screwed.

2 5. The check is in the mail?
Well, electronic banking has pretty much ended that one.

3 Now that you mention it, I think "the check is in the mail" was the first one, when I heard this joke as a kid. "It's just a cold sore" became the first one during the swinging 70's during the herpes scare, which happened before HIV showed up and put everything into perspective.

4 Soon enough personal recording drone will be all in vogue.  You will be recording yourself 100% of the time just in case anyone wants to accuse you of anything.

5

Soon enough personal recording drone will be all in vogue.  You will be recording yourself 100% of the time just in case anyone wants to accuse you of anything.

The idea sounds like a variation of Jay Leno's line about having a camera crew recording his life 24/7 for legal reasons, for some of the comedic sequences on The Tonight Show.  Except the Real Life (TM) version is less amusing.

Then we have Andy Warhol's saying about everyone's 15 minute of fame - Youtube and smartphones with video cameras have realized that.

6 In a discussion with a female friend, I mentioned that there's no way in Hell I'd ever try to get involved in teaching again. She started to talk about Society Underpaying Educators, and I had to stop her and explain that I refuse to be treated as a sex offender who just hasn't been caught yet. The money is completely irrelevant (and not as bad as they like to pretend).

I'd definitely recommend body cameras for male college students. The way things are going, pretty soon the definition of campus rape will include "men saying 'no' to Gender Studies majors".

-j