November 16, 2014
I'm thinking of starting a new business. It would be called "Endangered Species Solutions". Our motto: They can't be endangered if they're extinct!
See, the way it works: when some damned environmentalist manages to fuck you over completely by getting some obscure species declared "endangered", you come to us and we take care of it for you.
For example: having your irrigation water taken away from you for the benefit of the Delta Smelt? Pay us, and in the dead of night we'll dump 1000 pounds of potassium cyanide into the Sacramento river and kill them all. Once they're extinct, they can't be endangered any longer and now you can go to court and force the government to release your irrigation water.
Or the Gunnison Sage Grouse? We provide you with a group of hunters equipped with IR night vision goggles to go on a grand multi-week hunt to eliminate the problem. With extreme prejudice.
And we're really good at dealing with Spotted Owls! Just try us!
We'll incorporated in Antigua, and only accept cash transfers. Our customers will never know who we are!
Anyone care to invest? I've got $4.95 seed money so far...
Posted by: Steven Den Beste in Weird World at
03:58 PM
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Posted by: Pete Zaitcev at November 16, 2014 05:13 PM (RqRa5)
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at November 16, 2014 07:52 PM (+rSRq)
But sometimes it's fun to fantasize about what I'd do if I had no scruples at all, kind of "What would Stalin do?"
So, for instance: terrorists take a bunch of people hostage and demand that 100 of their fellows be released from prison. What would Stalin do?
That's easy: he's have all 100 shot, and deliver them to the terrorists in coffins. Then they'd execute all the hostages, and troops would storm the place and kill all the terrorists -- and that terrorist organization would never try anything like that again, even if it still existed afterwards.
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at November 16, 2014 07:57 PM (+rSRq)
Posted by: cxt217 at November 16, 2014 09:35 PM (ztr46)
Posted by: Steven Den Beste at November 16, 2014 10:03 PM (+rSRq)
Enclose all spoilers in spoiler tags:
[spoiler]your spoiler here[/spoiler]
Spoilers which are not properly tagged will be ruthlessly deleted on sight.
Also, I hate unsolicited suggestions and advice. (Even when you think you're being funny.)
At Chizumatic, we take pride in being incomplete, incorrect, inconsistent, and unfair. We do all of them deliberately.
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